Supporting Your New Dog
When you first bring home a new dog, it can be overwhelming, confusing, and difficult to cope with. It might be your first time bringing a dog into your home, and it might be your dog’s first time in a home- too. This can leave us feeling overwhelmed about what choices to make for ourselves and our dogs in their first few days at home.
Recognize that change is inheritely stressful. New spaces, sounds, and people can be difficult for some dogs to adjust to. Some dogs, especially those who are well-bred or particularly resilient will be less likely to find these things distressing. Either way, it is a good idea to reduce the amount of novelty and stress you introduce to your dog in the first few days. Allow them to adjust to their new environment before introducing new people, pets, and other novel stimuli. As much as we want to dive in head first to all the fun things we can do with a dog- it is actually kinder to take things slow for their sake.
So, what should you do instead? Observe objectively and make choices that support your dog’s wellbeing. As much as I’d like to give you a formula on the perfect way to help your dog adjust- I couldn’t possibly generalize information enough to make it applicable to every dog. Each dog will adjust differently and it takes a keen eye to observe your dog and understand what is in their best interest. Rather than give you a formula, I’m here to teach you how to recognize the communication your dog is already offering you. These first few weeks, months, and even years should be reserved for your dog to tell you who they are- and for this to happen you must know how to listen. Not only do you need to understand their communication but you need to be objective, too. This ensures you’ll be able to make good choices with the information they provide instead of relying on a narrative that you have created like “My dog isn’t fearful!”, “My dog has always loved other dogs!”, and “He couldn’t possibly be in pain!”. With the skills of observation and the ability to be objective, you will be on your way to making choices in your dog’s best interest. After all, they cannot speak for themselves so these skills really are the foundation of good husbandry for dogs.
Observing Objectively
What does it take to be a good observer? To be adept at observing you must first be attentive and able to recognize significant information. You must not attempt to describe it or understand, but rather to see it as it is. A good understanding of canine body language comes in handy here.
For example, your dog is on a walk around the neighborhood. You use your observational skills and notice that their leash is tight and they are straining at their collar. Their ears are up, they have wrinkles in their forehead, and their lips are pulled all the way back. You look down their body and notice and awkward, stiff posture and a low tail. You follow their line of sight to see a mail truck delivering the mail about 20 yards away.
Let’s say your neighbor helps you out by walking your dog mid-day while you are at work. Your neighbor encounters the same situation but does not know to use her objective observation skills. This time the mail truck is only 5 yards away. She is busy chatting with a neighbor and doesn’t notice your dog’s stress signals when the mail truck stops by. In fact, she gets so absorbed in conversation that she doesn’t notice your dog’s tail begin to lift and the hair on their back start to rise. Your dog beings to growl and bark, much to the surprise of your neighbor. When you arrive home, your neighbor says “My dog always loved the mail truck, the woman in the truck would always give him cookies. I don’t understand why your dog would be so aggressive towards something so harmless!”
Notice how many details were missed in the second example and how your neighbor’s previous experience with her last dog shaped how she saw the situation.
Choices that support wellbeing
The next step is knowing what to do in a given scenario to support your dog. You might not know much about what the “right” thing to do is for your dog at a given time- especially as a new dog owner. Luckily, you don’t have to be a dog trainer to be kind and use empathy.
Here are my general rules of thumb:
If the dog doesn’t want to do something, ask yourself “Is this actually necessary?” In some cases, avoidance is a perfectly acceptable choice (especially in the early days).
If the dog doesn’t want to do something but I’ve deemed it is necessary for their wellbeing, can I do it quickly and kindly? ie. If your dog doesn’t want to get in the car but needs to go to the vet- don’t spend 25 minutes asking them to get in, just scoop them up and put them in the car.
Understand that dogs are like kids- the things they want aren’t always best for them. Step in with your adult brain when you need to and help them avoid stress and get themselves out of trouble. ie. Your dog is afraid of children and barks and lunges at them. However, they’re trying to pull towards the playground full of kids. You make the executive decision to go the other way instead.
Back to our earlier example, when you noticed your dog show obvious signs of fear and stress in regards to the mail truck 20 yards away- what choices might you make to support your dog?
You ask yourself “Is it necessary?” and then decide to take another route- avoiding further stress for your dog.
Let’s say the mail truck broke down in front of your house and you absolutely have to pass it to get your dog back inside. You hurry your dog in quickly by the handle on their harness without giving them a chance to become upset or bark.
In either case, when you get home from your walk you reflect on what you saw and decide to walk your dog somewhere with less cars and people until they feel more confident. You decide to see if they get better after settling in at home and if not you plan to reach out to a trainer to help.
The most important things we can do for dogs who are new to us involve lending our ear to listen to what they have to tell us. And trust me, they have a lot to say.
